Nina experienced housing instability due to domestic violence and abuse. Follow her story through the lens of her housing during each period of her journey.
This story includes descriptions of domestic violence and coercive control.
A representative floor plan
Two floor plans tell Nina’s story: the two-story house she shared with her ex-husband, and — after she leaves — the one-bedroom apartment that is hers alone.
A shared home
The floor plans are representative illustrations and do not depict Nina’s actual homes.
Nina and Tom met in 2005 and moved in together the next year. Nina was 20 years old, and Tom was 27. Now, Nina describes the early years of their relationship as “love bombing” and said she found a sense of safety in an older man. The couple married in 2011.
Their first daughter was born in early 2013, and the couple moved to Wisconsin for a couple years. In August 2016, they closed on a 2,800-square-foot home in North Texas. Nina said the down payment came from her personal savings.
The couple’s second daughter was born in late 2016, which Nina said put more stress on her. She was working full-time and raising the kids. Tom was often away on business trips, leaving Nina alone with two young children.
Between early 2018 and late 2019, at least 14 disturbance calls were made by the couple to the home. Officers responding to the calls noticed a pattern of escalation in the couple’s behavior. From verbal arguments to physical abuse, Nina’s relationship with Tom worsened. No charges were filed during this period. The couple continued to raise their children despite rising tensions and abuse.
Just days after Christmas in 2019, Tom fractured Nina’s sternum. Police officers came to the home, but no charges were filed as Tom fled Texas for Oklahoma. Nina made a plan to leave and said she was worried about her pets and children. On Jan. 1, 2020, Nina filed for divorce and fled to California. That month, Tom was arrested on felony family violence charges. He turned himself in, then bailed himself out. Nina secured a 60-day emergency protective order and spoke with an advocate.
When the COVID-19 pandemic hit Texas, courts stalled and Nina couldn’t legally bar Tom from their marital residence. She didn’t have the financial or familial resources to keep him out. During this period, police came to the house more than nine times. When Nina tried to leave and stay in a hotel provided by an advocate, Tom didn’t let the girls go with her.
Tom was arrested again for assault. He wore a court-mandated ankle monitor, and Nina got another protective order against him.
That October, Nina was evicted from the home for substance use because of an emergency court order. She was permitted to re-enter the house once for work-related reasons. Nina described this as “15 years of life, gone.”
During the 2021 holiday season, Nina and Tom finalized their divorce proceedings. By early 2022, Tom’s family violence charge was pleaded down to misdemeanor assault with a family violence tag. The indecent assault charge was dropped.
Today, Nina shares custody of the girls. The first place she moved into was a small, cramped apartment. She now lives in a bigger apartment and pays more in rent than she did for the mortgage on the home she shared with Tom.
More than 12 million people experience intimate partner violence each year, according to the National Domestic Violence Hotline. Nina’s abuser used surveillance, intimidation and other tactics to prevent her from leaving.
For free, confidential support, available 24/7, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-SAFE (7233), text START to 88788 or visit TheHotline.org.